Episode 020 – #Makemeatosser
Big day of news in the UFC today with Jon Jones being stripped of his title. We also look at the F1 and AFL going head to head in 2016 – but the big story is the start of my quest to be an AFL Coin Tosser. My letter written to the Hawthorn Football Club is printed below after the links.
Dear Hawthorn Football Club,
My name is Heath Eddy and I have an ambition to toss the coin before an AFL match this year.
I’ve been a Hawthorn supporter and member for a long time, even when we were crap. There was a short period in 1999 when I was also a Sydney Swans member, but that was only because I was at university in Sydney and wanted tickets to the footy, but I did wear all my Hawthorn gear in the Swans members seats when we got done in round 7 of that year, so I think that transgression can be viewed with mercy.
As far as credentials for my role as AFL Coin Tosser, I have been present for many big moments at AFL games. I was at the MCG for the Grand Final in 1993 when Michael Long took all the bounces down the wing to kick that inspirational goal, and I was at the SCG in 1999 when Tony Lockett kicked his 1300th goal. Both these moments have since been immortalised by Stephen Curry and Dave Lawson in their Toyota Legendary Moments advertisements, so you can see I am no stranger to spectating on the big occasions.
I am also born and bred from Broken Hill, the only place outside of licensed casinos in Australia where Two-up is played legally all year round. You could say tossing coins is part of our culture and upbringing in Broken Hill. It would be a pretty stupid thing to say, but you could say it, there is nothing stopping you.
I understand the role of AFL Coin Tosser is usually reserved for promotional purposes, charitable awareness campaigns, or Tasmanian Red Queens. I assure you I will be just as promotional as the first, just as charitable as the second and no where near as harmful on the eyes as the third in that list. This honour is also at times bestowed on children with terminal illnesses. While I can not say with any level of certainty that I have a terminal illness, I haven’t been tested for many and can not say for certain that I don’t have one.
Beggars can not be choosers, so while I am not bold enough to nominate which game I could fulfil my destiny as an AFL Coin Tosser, I would suggest one in Melbourne would be better. I can’t afford the travel to interstate games and don’t expect you guys to foot that bill either. I would however suggest that Round 7 against Melbourne at the MCG would be a good fit (because it’ll struggle to fill the stands anyway) or possibly Round 21 against Port as that happens to fall on my 35th birthday (just quietly, Round 18 against the Tigers aint bad either, that’s my old man’s team and it’d be good to rub that in).
In closing, I am sure to give my upmost to promote the generosity and sportsmanship of the Hawthorn Football Club should you chose to acknowledge this plea by way of my podcast ClickingBalls.com. This letter in full will be read out on an episode and posted online for our dozens of listeners, who will be kept up to date on how this progresses either way.
Thanks again for reading if you have made it this far. And yes, I am aware how silly and desperate this sounds, but it’ll be a laugh won’t it?