Category Archives: F1
The Formula One off season is a lonely and desolate time for the F1 media, and as such you tend to see speculation passed off as fact, opinion pieces that are merely filler in a bid to justify being paid in the winter, driving good men and women to insanity by the time winter testing comes around.
This also means that we get more out of control than Charlie Sheehan in Mexico while analysing what the results of testing could tell us about the upcoming season. The truth is that the top teams who have the budget to make significant advances will always keep their cards pretty close to their chest, with rival teams having plenty of time to copy legitimate advances by the time they get to Melbourne. This means we only get to see the real stuff during the first two practice sessions at Melbourne, which for all intents and purposes are testing. The F1 season is not considered to have commenced until Saturday practice, I believe.
In this episode we get all the news and events from the Singapore Grand Prix.
One dumbass English fan realises that Sebastian Vettel is in fact not his Uber driver.
One dumbass driver forgets that his last name is Maldonado, not Manuel Fangio.
Speaking of, Lotus look to ensure Renault don’t get too many laps under their belt next year by sticking them with Pastor right before the buyout.
VW rumours are gaining momentum, this time in the guise of buying out the Red Bull team. We go through all the factors and possibilities.
Driver shakeups are kicking into gear, with most barriers being drawn now.
Mercedes finally have an off weekend and some bad luck for Lewis. We’ve got our own conspiracy theories.
Lot’s more developments off track than on from this weekend, and with Suzuka right up this weekend, you need to catch up on all the latest news because it is all happening now, and Suzuka will be a big weekend not only on the track, but off as well.
Haas look to have settled on their drivers, with announcements potentially this weekend. Will Jenson retire in Suzuka? Will he go to WEC? Will Alonso say “hey fucker, not without me you don’t!” and high tail it out of the McLaren shemozzle? Can blood be a feasible alternative to flo-viz? Is 20 million enough for Josh to secure a race seat?
We answer all those tough questions.
Pics of all the new fiddly bits on the cars will be updated shortly.
All credit for photos go to Auto Motor und Sport (AMuS), Craig Scarborough, Sutton Images, Tobias Gruener, GP Update, F1fanatic.co.uk, and a lot of info and pics are gathered from the F1Technical.net forums (no affiliation). If you’re looking to go in depth into development, check them out ’cause there’s some smart dudes on there who can answer all sorts of questions. I’m just looking at giving you an idea of what goes on behind the scenes to hopefully pique your interest and lead you to your own research in these areas.
Firstly, gotta check out these beautiful cars under the Singapore lights.
Below is an example of the aggressive rake of the Red Bull compared to some rivals.
Lots of development going on on the floor area ahead of the rear wheels. A few different theories as to why, but it’s interesting to see the teams experiment with different solutions.
Front wings had some tweaking and elements bolted back on after a few high speed circuits.
James Key keeps impressing with tidy solutions and development on the skinnier Toro Rosso budget. Going to be hard for Toro Rosso to be able to hold on to him to be honest, wouldn’t be surprised if he is poached by perhaps a Ferrari backed Haas move.
New front wing
Old front wing
Throwing the front wings of Marussia in here so you can see how much difference a big budget (or an actual budget) for development makes.
Compare the Marussia to the complex Mercedes front wing.
Sauber have introduced their version of the short nose. Not quite as stubby as the rest, but they’re trying.
Other bits n pieces
Sauber sporting some tiny brake ducts.
Come on now, if you were a mechanic and had a spare moment, you’d jump in and pretend to be Daniel Ricciardo too
In this episode we check around the traps of the Formula 1 Italian Grand Prix, in what hopefully isn’t are last look at F1 cars belting around the beautiful and historical Monza track.
Get ya fucken shit together Bernard.
Kimi is renowned for his pre race naps, usually he wakes up before the lights go out though.
Maldonado. Yep. You all know where this is heading.
Josh gives you an update on Lewis’ shit fashion, and we’re now claiming expert status. Joan Rivers would be turning over in her face.
Another Honda engine commits seppuku.
In Austro-Prussian war news, we reveal that the German’s are refusing to give the Austrian’s an engine, the Italians have come to the rescue against their old ally, and we debate the merits of this.
Brenton makes sure you know he thinks Arrivabene is a ‘cool cat,’ whatever the fuck that is.
Australia announces they’re opening the border to accept 12,000 Syrian refugees, and Mitch Evans.
We plot to collaborate with the Italian mafioso to steal an F1 car.
We also give F1 a kick in the balls for not giving a shit about decent merchandise. You can have all my money, all of it, just make cool lookin’ merch and it’s all yours!
And we look ahead to Singapore for the return of decent on track action. That doesn’t involve Pastor.
Warning: This episode could contain traces of actual facts.
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Credit for the photos goes to Sutton Images, omnicourse, motorsport magazine, Auto Motor und Sport (AMuS) and the excellent people at the forums of F1technical.net.
Interesting series of photos showing the Honda power unit being put into the McLaren. Pics from the F1T forums.
The McLaren battery about to be put in. Would def fit in the boot of my skyline.
Monza is all about being slippery down the straights, and that means you start unbolting downforce. Below are the rear wing variations.
We see the spoon wing again from Mercedes. Less aggressive than the Spa version, and probably a one off custom for Monza.
McLaren rear wing is skinnier than JB’s chances of another WDC. Also red flo-viz on the stripped front wing, which you may see looks remarkably close to Red Bulls thanks to the acquisition of Peter Prodromou from Red Bull at the seasons start.
DRS open, just in case Fernando is considering an overtake on JB.
Sauber wing skinnier than an anorexic teen doing the 40 hour famine. Also using twin central pillars to support their rear wing.
Front wings were also simplified to enhance top speed down the many straights of Monza. Here you see the Ferrari front wing stripped of some elements.
Max Verstappen after his engine cover blew off while rushing out to complete a lap in time for qualifying. Best lookin car on the circuit in this trim.
In this episode we go through the event of the Hungary F1 Grand Prix, as well as delving into the first week of the summer break, which always brings about gossip and development.
Gossip is usually bullshit on account of the British media being typically British (they didn’t hack anyone’s voicemail though), but plenty of development progress gets announced during these times, and the jostling for drivers and sponsors gets into full swing.
Rumour has it that Red Bull recovered MH370 and turned its black boxes into barge boards (ooooooohhhhh I know that’s fucken harsh, but wait until you read the next one)
Mercedes prove that the Germans are good at dictating what happens to a race, but not so good when they’re amongst it (oooooooh again!)
Kimi proves that he can beat the best of them with bits flying off his car, but he does still require an engine guys.
Josh lays the steel caps squarely into Nico Rosbergs vagina, and we both give the English press ‘what for.’
Definitely no mention of cricket on this podcast.
Red Bull announce Daniel Ricciardo’s new sponsor is Target, after having a bullseye on his car all race.
Massa gets more praise on how good he could have been, while Bottas firms his chances at a Ferrari seat, with his competitors all being linked to Haas.
We put forth the proposition that it is in all our sporting, rivalry and F1 progress interest for Haas to come out of the blocks and be World Beaters.
In fact, we kinda gush over Haas for a bit, but only because worthy adversaries are the backbone of fan participation in sports, and F1 has been lacking that in recent decades.
Hulkenberg proves that front wings don’t necessarily have to be at the front.
Kvyat tries out the new rabbit vibrator.
McLaren and Honda fall ass first into some points and positive media.
Alonso overtakes a Ferrari.
Fuck man, plenty happened in this race and plenty has happened since, give it a listen on acast, iTunes or soundcloud (below)
All credit for the photos goes to the crew on the development forums at F1technical.net (no affiliation) if you’re interested in all the nitty gritty details of development, thats a great place to look around.
Below is a comparison of Toro Rosso’s rear suspension set up (left) and Red Bull’s set up on the right. (Click to enlarge)
McLarens new mirror set up with the new strakes on the side pods clearly showing the aero philosophy behind it. More than likely seeing the results of Peter Prodromou’s recruitment from Red Bull coming to fruition.
Below picture shows the damage to Daniel Ricciardo’s front wing from the Rosberg incident, clearly the best move for the team was to pit him and ensure a Red Bull 2-3 finish.
In this episode we rant through the exciting British F1 Grand Prix.
Hold on to your handbags Englishmen, we heap the praise on you lads for getting down and supporting F1 with all the ‘negative F1’ press. We don’t stop there, your support for all sport at the moment has been Melbourne worthy.
We still give Lewis shit though, but mainly about fashion. Josh used to be a model so it could be the most qualified opinion we actually have.
We give Williams a bit of stick for their shit calls under pressure.
We get behind the VJ Mallya campaign to ‘Uncrap F1.’
In a show of solidarity with Greece, Lotus start throwing away cash too.
We make a case for Marussia to take on the dual role of racing and safety car.
Force India get a set of nose rings.
The Austro-Prussian war looks to reignite with Red Bull trying to get their hands on some German technology.
Nico Hulkenberg does some things too, all in this episode!
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In this episode we go through all the action from the season ending, championship deciding, double header London E Prix.
It was quite a satisfying event, which is more impressive considering it was held in a bike lane around Battersea Park.
Nick Heidfeld proves that electric cars can’t be push started.
Bruno Senna makes his rear end as wide as a Brazilian lady’s.
The English dedicate a corner to their love of penis piercings.
F1 elitists get sand in their vagina over Richard Branson’s comments, but is he just stating the inevitable?
We try and decide on a “Pastor” award for the FE season. And no, that’s not for giving the most glory to god after any victory.
And just like the rest of the internet, us two playstation experts give actual driving experts advice on what they should be doing.
Oh yeah, and a couple of World Championships are given out, we talk about that too.
This is a special episode of the Clicking Balls podcast where we’re giving you a primer for the last weekend of Formula E racing, being a double header in London, and 6- yes, SIX- drivers vying for the inaugural Formula E Driver World Championship.
This has been a fantastic maiden season for Formula E, far exceeded my expectations, have had some teething problems and a few tweaks are necessary, but overall a really entertaining series for racing.
If you’re jaded with the lack of action in F1, and don’t give enough fucks to follow the team development race, just wanna see some overtakes, crashes, and on track strategy, then this is the racing series for you my friend!
We go through all the drivers in with a chance of taking out the championship, plus bring you up to date with some of the action that has happened in the season thus far.
Have the French finally found a motorsport to be good at after 30 years in the abyss?
Will the Brasilians spoil the party?
Will the Swiss…well Buemi…jump off the fence and go for the jugular?
Have the Chinese given up on internal combustion greatness, and instead focusing on building a quality electronic car?
Will any F1 castaway finally take the glory and have another crack at the big show?
We go through the drivers and scenarios below!
Below is the championship standings for all 6 drivers fighting for the title this weekend, and the breakdown of points allocations for the race weekend, with pole position being worth 3 points and fastest lap (FL) worth 2. Remember this round is a double header, with full qualifying and race points available for Saturday and Sunday individually.
The Standings So Far
Nelson Piquet Jr (NEXTEV TCR) – 128
Lucas di Grassi (Audi Sport ABT) – 111
Sebastien Buemi (e.dams-Renault) – 105
Nicolas Prost (e.dams-Renault) – 82
Jerome D’Ambrosio (Dragon Racing) – 77
Sam Bird (Virgin Racing) – 68
Nelson Piquet, Jr.
Nelson is a Brazilian born in Germany and living in North Carolina. He is the son of a 2x F1 World Champion, Nelson Piquet believe it or not. He is 29 years old and racing for NEXTEV Team China Racing in the Formula E World Championship.
He has a history with F1, getting a seat with Renault as Fernando Alonso’s fodder after a mildly impressive GP2 campaign. Racing two season after one spent as test driver, his most notable….erm…..achievement? Point of notoriety? Well basically the reason you remember he raced in F1 is because of intentionally causing an accident at the Singapore GP allowing team mate Fernando Alonso the race victory, was subsequently released and then ratted out the whole ordeal to the FiA. Not that I’m necessarily against what he did, he got fucked well and truly, but it all seems a bit high schoolish in these situations.
Anyway, after that he went round in circles for a while. Literally, with 5 years spent in NASCAR.
Now he has a chance to forge his own legacy with the very first Formula E Drivers World Championship. He is always a favourite with the fan boost too, which certainly doesn’t hurt.
Nelson is also currently coming 4th in the Global RallyCross Championship. If you haven’t watched it before then have a look, it’s a really fun series with lots of big names competing.
He gonna take the beans tho yeh, bruh?
Basically, Nelson needs to just not fuck up or do some dumb shit in order to coast to his first championship since 2006.
He has a 17 point lead, with a win being worth 25 points it’s going to be tough for him to lose it, but this is the inaugural season, so anything could happen and if its true to form, will. So in a nutshell the championship is Piquet, Jr.’s to lose.
Lucas Di Grassi
Lucas Di Grassi is a Brazilian fella living in Monaco with an Italian sounding name. He races in Formula E for the Audi Sport ABT team. Not far off his 31st birthday, he could earn himself a early present if he plays his cards right, and a certain other Brasilian folds.
Lucas has also raced in F1, driving for Virgin in 2010. Has the honour of being a driver to crash on the formation lap, before the race even starts, so there’s that. Currently test driver for Pirelli, which could explain why their tyres are shit.
Lucas finished 2nd in the 24 hour Le Mans race last year, which is no small feat. Another traveller on the F1 open wheel route, he raced in Formula 3 in 2004, was a test driver for Renault F1 in 2005, then raced in GP2 in its first season of competition in 2006, while retaining the Renault test driver seat.
How he gonna take home the trophy tho mang?
Lucas can still have a hope of winning the championship on Sunday even if Piquet beats him on Saturday, but without a pole or fastest lap or victory on saturday, it does make the task a lot harder. Look for him to push in qualifying and race for the bonus points, and if he can keep Piquet behind him he looks good going into Sunday. If not, then look for kamikaze dives on Sunday. Try an imagine the love child of Takuma Sato and Pastor Maldonado, with Romain Grosjean as its nanny.
If you’re not a fan of Lucas Di Grassi or Nelson Piquet Jr. then, or if you’re indifferent and like to sit on the fence, then the Swiss man Sebastien Buemi is your bloke to follow for championship glory. Racing in Formula E for e.dams Renault, which started out in the guise of Alain Prosts own team and is now a collaboration with Alain (Team Principle) and e.dams Renault, it’s tough to see how the team is going to back him over Nico. The only team with two drivers in contention for the title, this could work for them or against them. Given Prost’s track record with team mates, I’m not hopeful for Buemi, which is why I’m going for him this weekend.
At 26 years old, it’s hard to think his opportunity for F1 has passed, but with the political climate and the fucking absurd cost of competing, talent makes way for cash in the seats hes competing for. Don’t mistake that for a shortfall on talent though, as Buemi and Algesuari were impressive when they drove for Toro Rosso. unlucky for them the previous driver, some unknown named Sebastian Vettel had set the bar pretty high. He has a chance to be in the series of the future from the foundation. Look for him to be desperate in staking his claim on this title, as it may as well be him against the world.
Register and give him a fucken fan boost, ya cunts.
But can he win, bruz?
He’s the last hope if the previous two haven’t caught your eye, so yes he can win, but he needs luck. This is no different to anybody else in racing who has won a title ever. So fuck it, why not? Yeah he needs luck, but to say he was lucky to win a championship (if he indeed does) would be a gross miscalculation. Every driver needs luck, and there isn’t a lot to separate skills at the pointy end, so maybe its his time.
Buemi needs to beat Piquet Jr in both races to be ahead by a point (given Piquet Jr finishes 2nd in both). However with Pole being worth 3, and fastest lap being worth 2, he has to ensure either he gets those points, or Piquet doesn’t. Nobody is going to complain too hard if Piquet Jr loses to fould play. in fact they’ll probably write it off as karma and have a much more sensible approach to Piquet Jr in the future.
Nico is a French bloke who lives in Switzerland, because he’d rather not bother with war than suffer the humiliation of surrender. I can understand that. Son of 4x F1 World Champion and racing legend Alain Prost, Nico has had big shoes to fill, but still seems to have filled the footsteps and not the boots. A championship in Formula E could change all this.
Nico is the current test driver for Lotus F1, but has had steady experience in open wheel categories as well as GT and Le Mans series racing. He won back to back Andros trophy’s, which is a racing series on ice. Get the feeling Benny Cousins missed his calling on this one. There’s probably not much he couldn’t do on ice.
Nico also finished 4th in the 24hr Le Mans race last year in the top LMP1 category. Make no bones about it, this fella can race. If you watched round one with the incident with Heidfeld….actually ill find it and embed it, fuck it:
Like his old man, this bloke is going to win at all costs. Although I seem like a 60 year old British blogger complaining, I actually respect this. It’s why I have so much respect for his father, and while I hate it because it’s against the drivers I’m going for (being Senna [F1] and Buemi [FE]) I have the utmost respect for these people because this is entertainment, not judge and jury, and they have been half of what has given me the most enjoyment in motor racing. It’s not my job to pretend to judge who they are as people, and this goes for all sports.
Whoah, getting pretty fucken deep there for a minute. Back to Formula E.
Be honest brah, he ain’t gonna win, izzee?
He needs to win both races and if Piquet doesn;t score, he has a 4 point winning margin over Piquet. So he will definitely need help from a team mate to finish high up the order, or scare the shit out of people so that they yield or just get the fuck outta the way. He is in the only team with two people fighting for the championship, and hes significantly behind his team mate in the standings, so good luck with that.
He needs everyone to fuck up, win both races and at least a pole or fastest lap.
he has a chip and a chair.
In this episode we go through the events of the Formula 1 Austrian Grand Prix, held at the Red Bull Ring.
In what was expected to be a bit of a procession after Canada, the Austrian GP turned out more excitement than we anticipated.
The fight between the Toro Rosso, Sauber, Force India, Red Bull and Lotus cars was entertaining nearly all the way through.
Lewis not impressed with copping a hammertime of his own.
Pastor Maldonado drives a scaletrix car around the Red Bull Ring.
Verstappen and Maldonado go wheel to wheel without too much incident, kind of reminded me of trying to drive in Adelaide. On the everyday roads, not their track.
Jenson Button gets given gastro during his pit stop.
Fernando Alonso goes to extreme lengths to get a good look at the Ferrari he could have been driving.
Marcus Ericsson plays practical jokes on the start line.
In a quest to look like Barbie, Nico Rosberg hires Mattel as his skin care consultant.
The Italians and Germans may be teaming up again in the guise of Ferrari and Red Bull. History shows this to have potential for domination or humiliating defeat. (Yeah I know, Austrian, don’t ruin my jokes arsehole).
Williams bring about some upgrades.
In a what flies in the face of stereotypes, French engine manufacturer
Renault may surrender and call it quits.
All that and more wrapped up in this podcast.
In this episode we look at the events of the Canadian Grand Prix as well as the action from the penultimate round of the Formula E season in Russia.
If McLaren are running amateurs, should they host a “Who wants to be a F1 driver” competition?
Was the true potential of Ferrari’s upgrades hidden during Canada?
We give Alan Jones a thumbs up for his work as the steward.
Grosjean tries to bully kids by stepping on their toes.
We actually give Maldonado a bit of praise. Kinda.
We also look at the possibilities of cost and technology sharing between F1 and Formula E.
Formula 1 Monaco GP all Wrapped up!
We’ve been putting out too many opinions and libsyn have said ENOUGH! ya aint putting out shit ’til Sunday! So fuck em, we uploaded this on to soundcloud, you can still download it from there, and if you cant, then you need to type that shit into google.
In this episode we discuss the events of the F1 Monaco GP!
-we also talk about Williams going backwards and maybe McLaren taking a step forwards?
-Unbelievably a very mature and talented 17 year old makes a mistake. Yep, we hang him out to dry too.
-We try and help you appreciate the difficulty in driving the Monaco track, even if it doesn’t result in a lights to flag exciting race.
-Josh appreciates a welcome change in Grid Boys
-We both backstroke through the comforting tears of the English media
-We cover some of the recent Formula E action as well as chatting about the last 3 races
-Lewis Hamilton isn’t called a chav, all in this episode!
DOWNLOAD FROM SOUNDCLOUD BY CLICKING THE LINK BELOW!
They say a picture says a thousand words, well this picture tells the story of 78 laps.
-Vettel congratulates Mercedes on giving him second place. If this doesn’t start some German conspiracy among the English F1 media then they’re slippin.
-Lewis Hamilton wipes away just gorgeous tears of heartbreak
-Nico Rosberg triumphantly shows off his camel toe, and with his……well downright fucken strange choice of using a Maxi Pad over a headband….I don’t think we need any more definitive proof that Nico has a Vajayjay.
-The Prince can’t fit his money and his hands in his pocket, making him look like he’s about to challenge any comers to a hoe-down.
-Everyone to the right of Vettel look like they borrowed a jacket from the bloke behind Lewis. I swear some family from Tasmania skeezed their way on to the podium. More power to them I say.
-Mercedes representative is still sporting a rock hard erection after fucking Lewis Hamilton. No viagra. No lube. Just 100% German gonzo.
Here is the aerial view of the Monaco layout.
Below, we have a time lapse and a long winded drive around the Monaco circuit when it’s not being belted around by F1 cars. It’s simply fucken insane to even consider driving a car, let alone an F1 life ender around these streets at full clip. So even if you didn’t like the race, appreciate the talent and cahones it takes to even attempt a flat out lap around here.
…..and last but not least, some fiddly bits from the Barcelona test. Not a lot came out of it (doesn’t mean that not a lot was done, just not outwardly visible). Some reserve and rewarded drivers got the opportunity to turn some laps, a few different aero trials for Monaco, namely double tiered money seats for extra downforce. Apart from that, it’s still to come out in the wash, but I’ll stick some cool looking pics up for you to have a gander at.
New Ferrari brake ducts being trialled
Pitot tubes assessing the air flow resulting from the turbulent rear tyre.
McLaren going all interpretive with the flow vis. Now I, like most people, am a big fan of flow viz, but this is too far. At least if they stuck with the red flow viz, it would look like they had been mowing down zombies around the Catalunya track.
Underneath the McLaren front wing. Just shows you what the philosophy is with regards to treating air for predictable manipulation through the underbody of the car. Not specific to McLaren, but aerodynamic principles in general.
and as a surprise to nobody, sucking cock gets you really excellent seats for Monaco. This is the best way to get back at your man. Best seats at Monaco GP, don’t even fucken watch, just get cancer, because fuck you.